


I Can't Believe Keith is Fucking Dead

by Narakurax



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Galra Keith, Gen, This is an honest mess, keith makes an alien mad, lance is iseless, poor guy, what the fuck is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9643949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narakurax/pseuds/Narakurax
Summary: There are so many fics depicted Lance dying and not enough for Keith. Just...just read it idk. Have fun





	

"I cannot BELIEVE I have to be stuck on a mission with...with Mullet McGee!" Lance whined, crossing his arms and glaring at Shiro. 

"Ugh, Lance, you'll be fine. This is an important mission." Shiro scolded, shaking his head. 

"Unbelievable, I'd rather be paired with a GALRA!"

"Uh, Lance, I AM Galra." Keith pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Keith wished he had earbuds with him to block out this noise. How whiny could one person be?

"'Uh, Lance, I AM Galra!'" Lance mocked, "oh my god, was I even talking to you?"

"Considering this conversation is about me, you kinda were."

Lance got into Keith'a face, ready to yell at him about how mullet's opinions don't matter when Pidge stepped in out of no where!

"Hey! Dumb and dumber! Can you shut up and just go on the stupid mission? Important information is at stake here!" The short girl yelled in annoyance. They were worse than animals. 

"Thank you..." Shiro mumbled.

Keith and Lance scoffed with offense. Coran hopped over to the two. 

"Now, these Thalydixins aren't the most friendly, so if they end up attacking you in a vicious rage...well, good luck! And remember that getting the Orb of Thaly is probably the most important thing we could use on our fight against Zarkon. No pressure!"

"Don't worry, Coran, if one of those Thaly-thingies comes at me I'll- heh heh heh! Right at 'em." Lance made karate motions, then ended with flexing his super hella strong muscles. Keith face palmed. 

"Right then, have fun! Don't kill each other!" Coran said, then turned around to Allura. "Alfor help us all..."

"I swear on Altea this was most definitely a mistake." Allura said, pinching her nose. Not even Hunk was optimistic about this one, either. 

Keith and Lance then went to the hangars only to realize they had no clue who's Lion to take. 

"Uh, dude, we're taking my Lion right?" Lance asked. 

"Why not take mine? It's faster and stronger."

"That's stupid."

"YOU'RE stupid!"

"How dare you! I'm going to my Lion! We can just go in our own. I didn't wanna be in yours anyway..."

Keith huffed, "fine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"...fine!"

They both headed over to their Lions, ready to just get this thing done and over with. They got to weird ass looking planet, and landed. When they got there, they saw a whole flock of three legged, green aliens ready to greet them. The two boys hopped out of their lions ready to introduce themselves to whoever the fuck these things were. 

"Greetings, my name is Hakodel, leader of the Thalydixins. What are you here for?"

"Right, I'm Lance, the charming, handsome, spectacularly amazing Voltron Paladin. Oh and this is Keith." Lance said, doing finger guns to the leader. Keith repeatedly hit his head against a tree.

"Ah, yes the Voltron Paladins. You must have come for the Orb, hm?"

"We did, Hickey, any chance of you giving it to us?" Keith interjected, getting straight to business. 

Hakodel frowned, his name was not that hard! "It's HAKODEL, and maybe, possibly, IF you can solve this puzzle we Thalydixins have crafted." The other aliens nodded simultaneously. 

"I'm sure we could handle it, Harold. Lay it on us." Keith said determined. 

Hakodel growled at him. "Young boy, you are asking for trouble."

"Keith is trouble." Lance muttered, crossing his arms. 

"Haiku, just give us the fucking puzzle. We need this! Stop stalling!" Keith yelled, getting his Bayard out. This boy was ready for a FIGHT. 

That was the last straw for Hakodel, no one continuously gets his name wrong and then challenges him to a fight! This Paladin was DEAD MEAT! "Well, if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!"

"I didn't say I wanted a fight, I said I wanted the puzzle!" Keith yelled, dumbstruck but armed. Lance groaned. 

"Look what you did Keith! You got him mad!"

"What? Handel is fine!"

Hakodel, was, in fact, not fine. He has morphed himself into a vicious, razor toothed almost lizard looking alien. It was that moment that Keith knew he fucked up. 

"It's HAKODELLLLLL!!" He roared, demonic sounding, and lunged himself at Keith. He grabbed the red Paladin and swung him around, then vored him like the disgusting alien he was. Lance was shellshocked!!! But it was too late. Keith was dead, and it seemed that there was nothing he could do. 

"You fucking killed Keith! What the hell! That was my job damn it!" Hakodel shrugged, then disappeared. Lance did not "heh, heh, heh" at them like he said he would. A failure indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> That's all folks


End file.
